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I wrote this today enjoy twas the apocalypse night before christmas when all through the house not a Just An Alabama Girl Living In An Oregon World Map shirt creature was stirring not even a mouse the smelly stockings were hung by the chimney with care in fear that zombie claus soon would be there the children were restless all scared in their beds while visions of being eaten by zombies danced in their heads and mamma with her bat and I with my shovel had just rewrapped our grips for a long winter’s struggle when out on the lawn there arose such a clatter I sprang from my post to see what was the matter away to the window I flew like the flash tore off the two by fours and threw up the plywood with a crash the moon on the breast of the new fallen snow gave an eerie look of midday to objects below when what to my wondering eyes should appear but some mindless zombies and a freshly bitten jerk with a spear with blood from the bite he seemed so lively and quick but I knew in a moment he would be eaten quick more rapid than beagles the zombies they came and he whistled and shouted and called them by name now tasher now frasier now kramer and dixen hold on kermet stop stupid don’t eat me donner and tristan to the top of the porch he fell against the wall now they chomped away bit away ate away all as leaves that before the wild hurricane fly when they met with an obstacle they took a bite out of his thigh so up to the housetop the blood seemed to spew with the roof full of guts and now zombie st nicholas too and then with an oh I heard on the roof the climbing and falling of that zombie goof as I drew in my head and was turning around down the chimney zombie santa came with a bound he was dressed all in fur from his zombie head to his foot and his clothes were all tarnished with blood and soot a kitchen knife he had sticking out his back and he looked disheveled like he had been under attack his eyes how they did not twinkle his dimples chewed off by marry his cheeks were missing his nose bit off like a cherry his troll little mouth was drooling like a cow and the beard on his half eaten chin was not white as the snow the stump of a kids hand he held tight in his teeth and the guts it encircled his feet like a wreath he had a gnawed face and a distended round belly that shook when he growled like a bowl full of jelly he was chubby and plump a right crotchety old elf and I gasped when I saw him in spite of myself a wink of his eye and a twist of his head soon gave me to know I had to make this f er dead I spoke not a word aimed straight for his head my shovel would work I swung as hard as I might his neck snapped with a jerk and decapitated there he lay using a finger to wipe the sweat from my nose and giving a nod this zombie santa would no longer impose I sprang to the window to hear a faint blast and whistle and away they all fled hearing the shot of a pistol but I heard the zombies exclaim as the trudged out of sight grrraawww grrr rrreeee grraaww gerrr grrurr gaaaaa uuuhhh uuuggghh uuuggghhh merry christmas from trevor waldron trevor waldron the men’s hair specialist trevhairreno. The cia s directorate of digital innovation ddi accelerates innovation with cutting edge digital and cyber tradecraft and it infrastructure from designing secure systems to gleaning insights needed to produce data drive intelligence products the ddi s cyber professionals data scientists it engineers and other technical professionals are transforming the cia for the digital age explore careers with the ddi it engineer it customer service officer. And went
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